


bright lights

by donnarafiki



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Femslash, Genderfluid Teddy Lupin, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lesbian Character, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Next-Gen, Polyamory, Professor Draco Malfoy, Professor Harry Potter, Remus Lupin Lives, Sirius Black Lives, Slytherin Albus Severus Potter, Slytherin Scorpius Malfoy, Strong Language, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, ace characters, also luna is going to be amayzing, and Ginny, gabrielle delacour is going to be so awesome, like all my girls are gay, multiple lesbian characters, okay maybe not all but ninety percent, without these three none would ever survive, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-09-25 13:57:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9823601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donnarafiki/pseuds/donnarafiki
Summary: When Rose Weasley finally goes to Hogwarts, she finds it quite different from her parents’ stories. The school is still torn by war, students are plagued by trauma, and the last three years there have been almost no first years.  Even among the teachers bigotry and hatred is very much a part of everyday life, especially for one professor, the only Slytherin among the staff. The arrival of the new school nurse and the new Weasley might be the only thing that could pull the houses back together. But do they even want to help?A seven year long running story about the first wizarding pride march, fighting prejudice against Slytherins, three women deeply in love with each other, and why it’s okay to be a snake even as a Weasley or Potter.





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will run during the seven years Rose weasley attents hogwarts, maybe longer if thats what you guys want, and it will be (very) gay, but not yet for the protagonist, since eleven year olds care more for candy than romance. My first focus will be on Ginny and Gabrielle, later also Luna and some Draco-Harry tension.  
> I have no beta, sadly, so all grammar/spelling errors are on me, my appologies. please leave comments with suggestions if you have any, or if you liked what I wrote. This is my first fic ever so please be kind...  
> italics are for thoughts.

_Rose sat on a chair in front of all the other hogwarts students with the sorting hat on her head. Her hair was so Big and bushy that the hat did not fall over her eyes, so she was forced to watch the others._

_So, Miss. Weasley, no gryffindor for you then?”. Said the voice of the hat in her head. “You look more like a Slytherin to me.”_

_"Please put me in Ravenclaw, please put me in Ravenclaw.” The mantra she kept repeating in her head was the only thing keeping her from panicking, but the hats remark about Slytherin quickened her breath, till it was dangerously close to hyperventilation. She would never be accepted as a Slytherin, she was certain of it. All her life she had been the quiet kid in the corner, overhearing many secrets from her family members, who eventually started telling their secrets to her deliberately, so they could get them of their chest. None of them would ever trust her again if she became a Slytherin. It would crush them… It would…_

_“Well, I think I know where to put you, you will be in…”_

_Black dots started to swirl in her vision, her breath quickened rapidly, cold sweat broke out all over her skin, and she felt herself fall…._

* * *

 

Finally the long expected knock on the door came, accompanied by her fathers’ “Rose, are you up? Breakfast is ready, and we’ll floo to platform 9 ¾ in 40 minutes.”

If it hadn’t been for the clearly fake happy tone her father had spoken in, he still coudn't believe his little girl vas 11 already, she would have squealed with excitement. Rose felt like her whole life had led to this moment, her first first-of-september departure with the Hogwarts Express. Though it was a queer statement when you think about is, since every moment you will ever live to see is a moment your whole life has led to, otherwise, how could you see it? _But, I mustn't get sidetracked too much today, for it is the beginning of a new chapter in my life, and new chapters shouldn't start with your head in the clouds._

She jumped out of her desk chair, _Merlin knows I will not miss that squeaky noise it makes when you do that,_ and flung her school bag over her shoulder. It was filled with stuff she might need during the train ride, and stuff she would not need during the train ride but wanted to take with her anyway because they made her look smart. Her father had given her one of his old gryffindor ties the day before. The knowledge that she could never wear it was a burden that almost put a damper on her excitement, for Rose knew she had to put up a great fight with the sorting hat in order for it to not sort her into slytherin. Ravenclaw was debatable with the hat, but gryffindor would be impossible, she knew herself well enough for that.

* * *

 

She was slightly disappointed when she caught a view of the breakfast table. Her brother was already halfway through his cereal and there was only a half full basket of three days old bread for her, together with a nearly empty peanut butter jar. She didn't even like peanut butter.

“Excited for today, Honey?” Her mother asked. She looked exhausted, thick dark rings permanently inhabited the skin under her brown eyes these days. “I am so sorry that there is no special breakfast, but Mrs.Finnigan had an emergency yesterday with the Bullstrodes, so ….”

“It's okay mom”. Rose replied, trying really hard not to let out a sigh of disappointment. Her mother was making eighty hour work weeks again for the ministry, even though she had promised to never do that again after she’d collapsed during Uncle Harry's birthday three years back. _Today is not about my mother's work schedule, it's about…_

“Rose!” Her seven year old brother shouted. “I want your room when you leave! I wanna build an action man town!”

“Glad to hear how much you'll miss me, but my room is my room, so please stay out of it.”

“Rose, that is not very kind of you, you won't use it for four months. Besides, you know how hard it is for your brother to adapt to change.”

Rose rolled her eyes at her mom's remark. _Hard to adjust, my arse. He’s just being a pain in the butt purely to mess with me. If he’d be let into my room, I bet he'll break half my stuff in it during one of his tantrums._

“I will not have him in my room, he'd wreck it before I’m halfway to Hogwarts. Besides, we have a huge basement, can't he play there with his stupid toys?”

That last remark was a mistake, Rose knew it as soon as the words had left her mouth. Her brother turned red and pushed himself away from the table with so much force, Rose’s milkglass smashed to pieces on the kitchen floor. Milk soaked her newly bought clothes and shoes.

“THEY ARE NOT STUPID TOYS!” Shouted Theo. “THEY ARE REAL LIFE COPIES OF PEOPLE WAY COOLER THAN YOU! YOU GO LIVE IN THE BASEMENT, YOU BITCH!”

Silent. Dead silent.

Ron stood frozen in the doorway, holding his coffee cup. Hermione’s eyes had sprung open, and were now looking at her son, filled with disbelief. Rose got up to her feet and walked out of the room, her shoulder colliding with her dad who was still standing is the doorway, making him spill some of his coffee.

“Rose! That was my coffee! Now it's all over the floor!”

“Yes! I am the problem here! Of course! How stupid of me to think that it was my brother who throws tantrums five times a day, of mom who is working herself to death, or my dad, who rather gets himself half-killed on every auror mission instead of facing his own problems! I see now clearly that I AM the problem!” Rose let out a humourless laugh. “Ha! Well, don’t worry, I'll see myself off to the train then, so you can all go back to your perfect little family!” She stormed upstairs and slammed her room door shut.

 _One more minute with that lot and I WILL be the problem. And their last problem at that._ She locked her door and stripped out of her milk soaked clothes. Just to take the piss out of her family she put on a yellow hufflepuff sweater and tossed her gryffindor shirt she'd been wearing before in the trash. _If gryffindors are all like that, I bloody well want to be in different House._

“Rose?” Her mother's voice asked through the door. “Rose, can you come back downstairs please? We cannot send you off to school like this.”

“Are you sure about that? Because this bitch has got no problem with it at all!” Yelled Rose back through the door. It was a petty thing to do, she knew that, but she also knew that she couldn’t be arsed with it at the moment. She needed a minute to calm herself first. The other side of the door stayed quiet. Rose quickly tied her shoelaces and emerged from her room again. After a couple of deep breaths she had composed herself and was ready to be the gentile quiet daughter everyone expected her to be again.

“Sorry mom, I didn't mean it…” _Shoulders down, puppy eyes, arm around her waist and she will melt in a heartbeat._ She did.

“It’s alright Rose, no harm done. We’ll get your breakfast at the station. Your dad is staying here to look after your brother.” _To make sure he doesn't burn the house down,_ added Rose in her thoughts.

* * *

The platform was filled with smoke and screaming students and it took exactly 22 seconds for Rose to get a major headache. Her mother, however, seemed to have it much worse, squinting her eyes so badly at every loud noise she looked like she was blinded. Bill and Fleur were already there when they arrived, with Teddy the hufflepuff and victorie the soon-to-be gryffindor. Her bright red shirt let her blond hair come out even better than usual. Rose tried self consciously to put her hand through her hair, realising now that she hadn't even bothered to look in the mirror that day. _I'll be uncle Harry 2.0 then…_

“Hi Rose! Looking forward to today? I see you dressed in the best house colours! Did you know we almost won the house cup last year? I heard Andy say that there will be only 29 first years this time, even my year has more than that, we have 36! Tho I heard from uncle Harry that Stevens from gryffindor has to re-do his first year because of bad grades. And…”

“Teddy, you're rambling again, we talked about this. Give young miss Weasley some space.” Draco malfoy emerged from the crowds to stand next to Teddy, who rolled his eyes at his guardian’s remark.Fleur wrinkled her nose like she always did when she saw Malfoy, but apart from that she ignored him and asked: “where is Ron? Did he have an emergency mission again?”

Her mother pinched the bridge of her nose before she answered with a sigh that that was indeed the case. Rose disliked how often her parents lied about their home situation, but now was not the time to confront her about that.  Rose let it slide for this time.

“Can we get onto the train already?" Asked Victorie. "I didn't get up at nine to be seated entirely at the back of that thing you know.”

Victories voice always sounded a bit too whiny for Rose’s liking, but she was still happy that her parents agreed and sent them off to the train.

“I'll see you at school, Theodore.”

“Have fun Victorie!” “And don’t be late for class!”

“Goodbye Rose, I have faith in you.” Whispered Hermione while she hugged her daughter one last time. “Go kick some ass!” She added.

“I will mom, though please never say that again, it doesn't suit you.” With a sigh she let go of her mom and followed Teddy and Victorie. All things aside, she was still going to miss her parents. And if transfiguration from Professor Mcgonagall would really be as bad as Teddy had made it sound like, she might even miss her brother too.

* * *

Rose shared a compartment with Victorie, Teddy, and four hufflepuffs and a ravenclaw who were his friends. They were kind people, all wearing t shirts of the muggle television show “The Big Bang Theory”. Rose sat down next to the ravenclaw who introduced herself as Michelle. She was two years older than the others and told Rose she was the only ravenclaw girl in her year, after Rose asked how she had wound up with a bunch of hufflepuffs two years lower than her as friends. Births had plummeted due to the war, and as a result Hogwarts’ student population was at an all-time low. Last year there had only been thirty six new students, almost all muggleborn.

“It’s a really big problem.” Said Michelle. “Not only is it really hard to adjust to the wizarding world when all your friends are muggleborns too, but the student demographic is really fucked up now. We have seventy percent of the students in the upper three years, and the total of students is at its lowest since 1778, when the industrial revolution drove wizards to mass immigrate abroad. The weird thing is though, that muggleborn student numbers have also plummeted, while they had nothing to do with the war. Some say it’s a curse from He Who Must Not Be Named, others say muggleborns are not an actual thing, and that they are actually half-blood children from cheating wizards. An interesting theory but complete bollocks of course. Why would you stop cheating when there’s a war going on? Sex would be a nice distraction from it I’d say.”

“Michelle, please don’t talk to my niece about sex will you? she’s eleven!”

“Sorry Ted… Anyway, I hope you don't wind up in the same situation as I did, without any roommates. It might seem like bliss to sleep alone in a dorm, but it really isn't. It’s lonely and it sucks.These idiots were the first people I met at Hogwarts who were nice and liked comic books. I wouldn’t have survived the first two years if it hadn’t been for the marvel universe.”

“How can you be lonely when you have comic books?” Remarked Victorie, who had spent most of the summer reading them with Teddy.

With that she started off a conversation, with a passion Rose had not yet seen from her before, about Loki and Thor. She thought they were totally gay for eachother while Michelle shipped Loki and Tony. It was quite fascinating to watch the heated debate that formed in the compartment as soon as the others joined in. She listened to them for a while until she remembered the looming darkness of the sorting ceremony ahead. Rose quickly turned into a bundle of nerves then, repeating the same scenario inside her head over and over again. The hat calling out “Slytherin”, the shocked look on uncle Harry's face, who would only start teaching that year, the breaking of trust between her and her parents. The alienation from her family, turning into a social pariah…

_No. No, I will not let that happen, and even if it does, getting all worked up about is now won’t help. Breathe in, breathe out, and listen to The Battle Of The Nerds._

Rose told herself off for thinking that way every time she slipped. It was hard, however, to stay focused on a conversation about fictional characters she didn’t actually knew.

The rest of the train ride she spent staring out of the window, gazing at the landscape that slowly grew darker as more clouds gathered above them. Just after lunch it started to rain, and with that Rose gave up on trying not to think about the upcoming evening, getting a bigger knot in her stomach every passing minute. When she’d woken up that morning she’d still been mostly excited and only partially terrified, but now she was barely aware of the existence of other emotions outside of nervousness and fear.

“Rose, are you alright?” Asked Victorie in a worried tone. “We’ll arrive at the station in half an hour, maybe you should put on your school uniform?” The others were already in it, or were busy pulling it out of their trunk.

A wave of panic hit Rose full force, leaving her nauseated and almost breathless. She’d never felt this trapped and nervous before, though nervous could no longer really cover what she felt.

“I'm fine” she brought out with difficulty. “I'll go change in the bathroom.” She quickly grabbed her bag and made her way out of the compartment. Not paying much attention to her surroundings she walked head first into a slightly chubby blue-haired girl wearing a shirt that read “Angels can fly, she whispered and jumped.” Rose mumbled an apology and quickly continued on her way. She didn't notice the gaze of the blue-haired girl following her all the way to the bathroom door.

”First years! First years this way!” Bellowed Hagrid's voice over the heads of the students pouring out of the Hogwarts Express. The weather was absolutely gruesome, dark clouds were still gathered in large numbers in the sky above them and the downpour was so vicious even hagrid the half giant could barely be made out amongst the crowd. “First years! All the first years this way!”

Victorie grabbed Rose by her wrist and pulled her into the mass of students, where they got soaked after mere seconds. “This way! First….. Ah, if those aren’t Victorie and Rose Weasley!” Exclaimed Hagrid. “Yeh look just like yer mum, Rose, when she first came 'round here.”

The sudden change of temperature, the pouring rain and the sight of Hagrid reduced the weight pressing on her chest and made that she could properly breathe again.

“I find it awfully annoying that everybody keeps saying that, I am my own person you know.” Most of her fear left her body together with those words and the bone crushing bear hug she received from Hagrid helped to calm her down even more.

He grinned at her. “Yer’ mum would have said the exact same thing. The brightest witch of her age, that's what she was.”

Rose rolled her eyes at him but smiled anyway, and then searched the crowd for the other first years. Surely there would be more than the small number currently standing around her. She quickly counted; eighteen heads, including herself and Victorie. Five more students joined them. Hagrid checked a note from his pocket. “Only twenty three this year… “ He muttered under his breath, barely audible through the wind.

“Alright guys, this way! The boats are docked just round the corner! And stop whining ‘bout your hair Zabini, there are worst things in life!” He yelled at someone behind him. The first years followed hagrid. The blue haired girl trailed behind, fruitlessly trying to keep her hair dry while continuing to whine about the weather to the guy walking next to her, and now also about Hagrid.

“Pretty shallow don't you think? You’re finally allowed into hogwarts and the only thing you can think about is your hair.” Victorie, whose hair always looked perfect no matter what, shot the girl a dirty look and then they hurried of to the boats with the rest.

The lake water was choppy due to the strong wind, and crossing the lake took almost half an hour. Rose and Victorie shared their boat with four others including the blue-haired girl, who was now complaining about it being “totally irresponsible and ridiculous to let children cross a gigantic lake in this weather, wait till’ my father hears about this.”

Victorie snickered at the remark. “She sounds just like Draco Malfoy in Harry’s stories. ‘Wait till’ my father hears about this’ was his favorite sentence apparently.”

“It totally was, he does nothing else than complain about ‘The Git and his stupid Dad’, when he’s drunk.” _Shit, shouldn’t have said that. As far as the Weasleys know Harry doesn’t drink anymore._ Rose only knew he still did because she sometimes crept down to eavesdrop on him and her dad. Luckily Victorie didn’t seem to notice, but the damage for Rose was done. The remaining part of the journey she worked herself up to a right frenzy about her inevitable sorting sorting ceremony disaster. The biting cold of the rain and wind did nothing to snap her out of it. When they finally came into view off the castle, the trip proved useless, for the castle wasn’t even visible through the thick strands of rain. They docked the boats and Hagrid guided them to an empty classroom where he left them. Most of them were shivering violently now, the only sound in the room coming from clattering teeth.

After five minutes Draco Malfoy entered the room carrying an old hat and a wooden chair. He looked frightening and tall, his pale skin radiating with power, handsome in a dangerous way. In nothing did he now resemble the ‘father-figure’ Malfoy Rose had seen on platform 9 ¾. Here he was Professor Draco Malfoy, _homme de science extraordinaire et alchemist avancé, alumni de la sorbonne_ , Britain's youngest potion master in over three hundred years. However, he made no big impression on the sorry bunch of first years huddled together in the middle of the room, who were looking miserable and alone. They could only focus on how bloody cold it was. Even Victorie had to agree now that it had been irresponsible to send them over the lake when it was this cold and wet, and then leaving them to freeze half to death in an empty classroom was even worse. Malfoy did not look like he cared much.

“I am Professor Draco Malfoy. Please follow me to the sorting ceremony.” With that, and a dramatic swirl of his dark robes, he disappeared through the door again. The first years followed suit. This time Rose trailed behind, her legs trembling more due to nerves than cold.

There was a joined sigh of relief when they finally felt the warmth of the great hall washing over them. None paid any attention to the enchanted ceiling or the floating candles, instead they gazed full of desire at the empty plates on the table, dreaming about the food that would soon appear on them, with a warm cup of tea on the side. Professor Malfoy put the chair down in front of the staff table and pulled a note out of his pocket. Rose tried really hard not to look at Harry, she feared she wouldn’t be able to bear the pride in his eyes. _That pride will only be there because he thinks I’ll be in gryffindor, I couldn’t cope with seeing that._

“Bulstrode, Cetus.” Was the first to be sorted. Slytherin. Rose tried to focus on breathing.

“Carrow, Pollux.” Became a ravenclaw. Rose had a really hard time coping with things. An ever growing weight threatened to crush her, and she felt actual pain in her ribcage.

“Kumar, Azra.” Was the first Gryffindor. Her breaths kept growing shallower and quicker. In Between “McNab, Arthur” and “Warren, Bucca” Rose managed to calm herself down a little by focusing solely on her breathing. Then “Waters, Yade” came along and Victorie whispered “See you in a minute”. A wave of panic came crashing down on her. Somehow she managed to walk up to the staff table, still carefully avoiding Harry’s gaze. Rose sat on the chair in front of all the other hogwarts students with the sorting hat on her head. Her hair was so big and bushy that it did not fall over her eyes, so she was forced to watch the others.

 _“So, Miss. Weasley, no gryffindor for you then?”._ Said the voice of the hat in her head. _“You look more like a Slytherin to me.”_

 _"Please put me in Ravenclaw, please put me in Ravenclaw.”_ The mantra she kept repeating in her head was the only thing keeping her from panicking, but the hats remark about Slytherin quickened her breath, till it was dangerously close to hyperventilation. She would never be accepted as a Slytherin, she was certain of it. All her life she had been the quiet kid in the corner, overhearing many secrets from her family members, who eventually started telling their secrets to her deliberately, so they could get them of their chest. None of them would ever trust her again if she became a Slytherin. It would crush them… It would…

_“Well, I think I know where to put you, you will be in…”_

Black dots started to swirl in her vision, her breath quickened rapidly, cold sweat broke out all over her skin, and she felt herself fall….


	2. chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be some swearing in this and the folowing chapters, actually the entire story, but nothing mote than an uncersored f*ck or sh#t. I hope you'll like it. see the end chapter for more notes.

Ellen was late for the train, and now all the compartments were full of students, except for one. It was empty apart from a girl with curly red hair in a rainbow shirt, laying on her back reading a book.

“Can I sit here? Thank you.” She didn’t wait for a reply but just sat down. She was exhausted.

“Piss off if you’re ‘too cool’ to wait for an answer, I got up too early to deal with that shit.” The girl gave her a piercing, cold stare, then continued reading. “I’m serious you know. Leave.”

“There’s nowhere else to sit.”

“And why is that my problem? You’re the one who arrived way too late, not me.”

“I am also the heir of one of the most powerful wizarding families in Britain, and with that someone who could make sure you don’t fall on your face by not knowing our traditions.” The girl gave her a disapproving look, then opened her mouth in response. “Also, I’m really bloody tired and would greatly appreciate being able to sit down.”

The girl rolled her eyes at her. “Fine, but be quiet, I’m reading.”

“A Ravenclaw then? You look more like a Hufflepuff in that rainbow shirt.” 

The girl sighed, and slammed her book,  _ Wizarding Wars: part 4 _ , shut, to offer Ellen her hand. “Bucca Dhu Warren, after the Cornish devil figure. First year. Nice blue hair.”

“Ellen Bellona Zabini, after my grandmother. First year. Nice red hair.” 

Later that day, coming back from the lavatory, she bumped into an anxious looking girl. She looked very troubled, clutching her bag to her chest like it was a lifeline in a raging storm. Ellen’s gaze followed her until she was out of sight. 

Later that day she saw the girl again. She was getting hugged by Hagrid together with a blond girl, and it suddenly doomed on her. It was Rose Weasley, the oldest kid of the ever growing Potter-Weasley clan, now the most powerful wizarding family in Great Britain. Rose, however, didn’t look like she belonged to a powerful family, some form of fear still showing on her face,  though it appeared to be less than before. A blond girl was with her now, and when Ellen complained about the weather ruining her hair, the girl shot her a foul look. Nonetheless Ellen joined them in their boat. Powerful friends always came in handy. That, Ellen knew for sure.

* * *

 

Rose went out like a light and fell to the ground. Her eyes had gone wide, then shut as they rolled back in their sockets. She was caught just before she hit the ground, firm arms wrapped around her still trembling body. “It’s okay.” Murmured the blue haired girl. She knew a panic attack when she saw one. “You’re gonna be just fine. Relax. Breathe in, breathe out, just like that.” 

“Wha…Wha..?” Rose tried to speak while hyperventilating and failed. It seemed to make her panic even more. 

“Relax, Bambi, it’s okay, I’ve got you. Keep breathing, yeah that right, just like that.” 

A dark-skinned professor with the messiest hairdo ever hurried towards them. With three long strides professor Malfoy joined them too, his pale skin now even paler. Talk swelled among the students and some got up to get a better look. Headmistress Mcgonagall repeatedly and fruitlessly asked students for silence while Malfoy put his hand on Rose’s forehead.

“What happened? Why did she pass out?” Potter looked extremely worried.

“She passed out because it’s bloody irresponsible to let eleven-year olds cross a lake in a raging storm, that's what happened.” Snapped Malfoy at him. It was almost like a flashback to seventeen years ago, only now he didn’t snap at him because Malfoy wanted Potters attention, but because he was asking dumb questions during a medical emergency.

“Can you carry her to the hospital wing?”

“No of course I can’t, I have a limp remember?” Potter gave him an agitated look. A look Malfoy didn’t receive because the question had been aimed at Ellen. Malfoys goddaughter had always been exceptionally strong. Ellen didn’t answer, but just lifted Rose off the floor like it was nothing. 

“Finish this for me Potter, thanks.” Malfoy pressed the sorting hat and the list of names in his hands, then followed Ellen and Rose. The girl was shaking heavily, and her eyes were still rolled backwards, showing only their white part. 

Potter grasped Malfoys wrist. An electric shock was tangible where their skin touched, but he did not let go. “And why should you be the one to accompany my niece?”

“Because I’m a nurse, Potter, that's why.” He met Potter's gaze, and stared just a bit too long into his emerald eyes.

“Professor! Hurry!” Ellen had a firm grip on Rose, but the girl was now trembling so violently it looked like she was having a seizure instead of a panic attack. Ellen was afraid she might drop her if it took much longer.

“Coming!” Malfoy tore his eyes from Potter and hurried after Ellen, leaving Harry baffled and slightly flustered.

* * *

 

A cocktail of panic and hypothermia had done Rose in. It took a combination of almost all muscle relaxant potions Malfoy had before Rose relaxed again. After that she was given a strong sedative plus some nutrients through an IV and now she was fast asleep.

All that time Ellen did not leave her side, partially because both of them still had to be sorted, but mostly because she felt sorry for Rose. So much pressure must rest on those shaking shoulders, so many expectations were supposed to be met. And even if she did meet them, it wouldn’t be anything special, for her parents had done it before.

Feeling sorry for someone was new for Ellen. Growing up in one of the most popular pubs in London and being raised by her dad had given her almost no empathy and a mouth like a sailor, especially when she was tired. Drunken idiots usually did not notice.

“How is she doing? Is she going to be alright?” It was the messy haired professor. 

“She'll be alright, eventually. Could have ended quite fucking awful if the potions had kicked in any later though. Draco totally saved her ass.” 

“What happened? I’ve never seen anything like it, and I've seen quite a lot.”

“No goddamn clue to what you've seen sir, but this is what happens when you have a major fucking panic attack while you're freezing half to bloody death.” Suddenly Ellen realised she was swearing quite a lot to a professor. And not just any professor either, this was Harry Potter.  _ Ah, whatever, he doesn't appear to even notice. _

“I am professor Potter by the way. He extended his hand to her and she shook it. “And your name was Ellen…” He expected her to fill in the gap, but Ellen prefered to leave him in the dark. Being a bit of a tease had always been one of her favorite past times.

“Yes, I am Ellen.” She paused, then, with a small, mischievous grin, “What subject do you teach sir, if you don't mind me asking.” 

“Oh… Uhm, no, of course I don't mind.” Potter was clearly taken aback. He was not used to people not knowing his name, and it was especially unexpected from someone who was on first name basis with Malfoy. “Defence against the dark arts. Your first class will be with me tomorrow. What reminds me, you still need to get sorted, and so does Rose.” He looked doubtfully to the sleeping girl, pondering on what to do.

“Well, I suppose that could wait until tomorrow .” Then he handed Ellen the sorting hat. She put it on, or rather, brushed her hair against it, for it said “slytherin” before she could do anything more than that. Potter looked surprised. The hat had sounded almost… bored… Like it had sorted her ten times already.

Potter checked his watch. “Shall I walk you to the dungeons? It’s after curfew now.” 

And also Harry wanted to see Malfoy again, to thank him for “saving Rose’s ass”.

“Sure.” Ellen patted Rose on the shoulder. “Sleep tight Bambi.”

Potter gave Rose a kiss on the forehead, and then they left the hospital wing and set off for the dungeons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be either Draco's or Harry's POV, and it should be up in a week or so. not earlier, because my holiday sadly just ended... If you have and ideas on how to continue or just like the way this thing is going please leave a comment! it would make my week!


	3. chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that it took longer than promised to update, but i struggled a bit with this chapter. still not sure if im 100% happy with it, i will leave that to you. PLease leave a comment if you have any remarks or just like the story.  
> NOTE mentions of self harm and depression

Draco collapsed still fully dressed on his bed, not having felt this emotionally exhausted in years. He hadn’t suppressed his war memories, honestly, he hadn’t. But seeing Potter again, snapping at him… It had brought back images that were far from pleasant. Of course he knew he’d been a bully when he was a kid, and later even an actual death eater, but coming to terms with that was a different story. A story he’d been working on for more than a decade now, but it got more and more complicated along the way.

While the war had ended for most people, Draco still had to fight on a near-daily basis. If not with himself, then with people who had suffered under his actions and wanted him to pay for it. That was one of the reasons he’d never apologised to Potter, because he of all people had enough reason to curse him into oblivion. Even though Draco lacked the will to live more often than not, he was too much of a coward to face The Saviour’s scorn. Only his two sons, he’d started to include Teddy about four years ago, kept him from doing anything about his wretched state of being.

Draco’s mind started to spin out of control while he laid on his bed, thoughts getting louder and more unpleasant by the minute. Thinking about his past or future, and sometimes even present, had never been a cheerful thing to do. He forced himself to carry out a calming exercise he normally gave to panicking students.

_Breathe in… Hold… Breathe out… In… Hold…  Out…_

Once Draco had steadied himself, he let his thoughts go over what happened after the encounter with Potter. He was no healer, but he had qualified himself as a nurse while in France.

Rose had definitely suffered from something bigger than a normal panic attack. There had to be more to the story than just some out-of-hand sorting ceremony nerves. For one, there had been almost no life in her eyes, no sparkle of any kind, but she’d also showed a total loss of limb-control. Maybe the cold triggered something, maybe Draco could have prevented instead of cured whatever happened. If only he’d noticed just how cold and miserable the first years had been earlier.

_Why can I never prevent damage, but only try and fix it?_

He let out a huge sigh and turned on his stereo, hoping to drown out his thoughts with loud music. Bitter Sweet Symphony from the Verve blasted from the speakers while he stripped out of his clothes and took a quick shower. He expected some of his students in his quarters soon, and had to get his act together before facing them.

* * *

 

The biggest part of the Slytherin student body still consisted out of pure-bloods. Most of them came from families torn by war, frowned upon by the wizarding community or worse. Usually worse. Some who came from a non-Slytherin family had even been totally cut off solely because they were sorted there. The hurt and harm that flowed from this was heartbreaking to see, and being head of house Draco saw it every day.

It had been the first thing Draco had fought for when he’d returned to Hogwarts. Giving his students the opportunity to stay at school over the summer. You could say that was running away from the problem, but try explaining that to a self-harming twelve year old, who hasn’t gotten more than a howler full of threads from previously-loving family members since they started school. Those cases became more scarce each year, but each and every case was one too many for Draco’s liking.

Most of his students suffered from all sorts of stress induced issues caused by situations like these. Lots had trouble sleeping or staying focused, and calming potions were always in short supply during Draco’s earlier teaching years. Things were better now, especially for the other three houses, but Slytherin was still damaged due to the continuing harm inflicted on the house by the outside world. Maybe they deserved it, for Slytherins had been awfully racist and hateful towards muggles and muggleborns, but Draco disagreed. He deserved all the punishment in the world, but the new students had to be left the fuck alone. It had not been their fault.

* * *

 

Draco came out of the shower and glanced at his forearms. Left was his much hated dark mark, now faded to grey and crossed with many scars from his unsuccessful attempts to remove it. On his right arm was tattooed, in beautiful cursive, _Be the person you needed when you were young_.

Awfully sappy, of course, but he needed to see it sometimes. A reminder of why he had returned to Hogwarts six years ago, away from his quiet and almost peaceful life in France. If there was anything at all Draco could do for his students, to make sure they never met the same fate as he had, he would do it. Draco would die for his students. They knew that, and trusted him with their lives because of it.

 

A knock.

 

Draco quickly slipped into his bathrobe and strode towards the door of his private quarters. _Well, someone ought to be the first. I hope it isn’t Marlene, she was in such good spirits when she left for the summer…_

He opened the door.

“Potter.”

“Malfoy.” The man paused. “Er…”

Draco, momentarily unaware of his messy hair from the shower and crooked bathrobe that left some of his tattoos and scars exposed, asked; “What brings you here?”

“Uhm…” Potter looked slightly flustered. “Well…”

“If you want to discuss something with me, please enter. I don’t want my students to see you here.” He opened the door further so the man could enter, but Potter stayed put.

“What I mean is that you’ll scare off my students if you stay outside, Potter. Enter.” Draco found himself falling back into his old aristocratic arrogance, using it to shield himself from the sudden presence of his teenage rival. By making an impatient movement with his arm, he indicated that the man should come in.

Potter entered, muttering an apology. Draco switched on the big ceiling lamp, realising candles looked way too romantic for the occasion. Potter almost gasped when he saw the rest of the room. A grand piano stood in the corner. MGMT’s Kids was playing over the speakers now, and opposite a huge king size bed a deep-blue fire blazed under a dark window showing the depths of the Great Lake.

Potter, however, was not looking at the piano or the fire, but at the wall on the far end of the room. It was covered with a floor to ceiling painting, the background done in beautiful shades of blue and purple. It depicted two intertwined hands, one with the dark mark, one with the quotation; “If you don't know where you’re going, any road can take you there.” The soft touch of pearl nail polish on both hands served as a beautiful counterweight to the many scars running across almost every visible piece of skin.

“Who…” _Painted that gorgeous picture? To whom does the other hand belong? How did all those sars come into existence? Why are you listening to muggle music?_ Questions not fitted to ask your former nemesis after years of complete radio silence. Too personal, too intimate. “Why would I scare away your students?” Was the line Potter eventually settled on.

“Because you are seen as the leader of the movement that threatened and attacked a great part of my students. Vengefulness does not die out fast, and the small number of parents my students have left are under constant threat of revenge, even after a decade.” Draco managed to remove the haughty undertone from his voice, suppressing his usual coping mechanism. Potter looked aghast, he probably never considered himself to be held responsible for something as despicable as the horrid attacks on Slytherin families after the war.

“Why? Why do they hold me responsible? I wouldn’t... ” Draco interrupted him.

“No, you would never, but how are my students supposed to know that? They only know you as The Chosen One who defeated the evil their parents fought for. I warn you now that I cannot guarantee a lack of prejudice against you as a teacher. Slytherins are weary of outsiders.” Draco, who previously had his back turned to the dark haired man, turned around to look once more into Potters emerald green eyes. “Bigotry is hard to erase, even if you try with all the strength you’ve got.”

Their stare lasted what seemed like forever. Eventually Potter broke it, reaching into his pocket to give Draco a piece of paper. The name list for the sorting ceremony. _And I have covered the entire back with flower drawings, Draco you idiot._

“Thought you might want this back.” The man paused again. “Thank you for taking care of Rose tonight, Ellen spoke very highly of your actions.”

Draco did not take the parchment, so Potter tucked it back into his robes. “Just fixed something I should have never let happen in the first place. Should have noticed how frozen and miserable the first years were after that boat fare.”

Potter didn’t know how to respond to that, so he didn’t. Instead he said; “Ellen is a Slytherin now. Rose isn’t sorted yet.”

Someone knocked on the door. “Professor Malfoy? Can I have a word?”

“Did you have anything else you wanted to talk about?” Draco asked. Potter shook his head. He was almost as filled with questions as on the night Hagrid told him he was a wizard, but now was not the time.

Draco opened the door. “You can come in, Marlene, professor Potter was just leaving.” Marlene, a seventh year with extremely long purple braids, entered and immediately wrapped Draco in a big hug.

“Thank you, prof. Never in a million years did I think my parents would ever accept me again, but they did. Thanks.” She spoke in a thick Birmingham accent and took no notice at all of Potter. Draco bore a slight resemblance of a smile on his face once she let go, though he seemed slightly relieved when he was released. His past had given him no reason to enjoy physical contact. The girl transfigurated a loose lying sock into a chair and sat down.

“Goodnight Potter.” Potter looked at a loss for words at first. Never had he seen, nor expected to see, Draco Malfoy get genuinely hugged. It was a nice thing to witness.

“Goodnight Malfoy.” The man slowly turned around towards the door, and then he was gone. Just like that.

“So Marlene, I’m guessing parent counseling worked?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im giving myself a bit more time for the next chapter, it should be up in 2 weeks.


	4. chapter 4 (previously 5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a new chapter, but I put chapter 1 and 2 together because that made more sense, so exept for chapter 1 all chapters have a different name now

“Rose.” A kind, soft voice had spoken. “Rose, it’s time to wake up.”

Rose peeked through her eyelashes, not ready yet to fully rise from sleep. “Mmmh, I just had the worst…” _The worst nightmare. The worst nightmare that came true._ Memories of last night washed over her. She groaned. What an embarrassment, what an abomination, what an awful start of the year.

“Damnit Rose, Why?” She buried her face in her hands. “Why are you like this?” She whispered through her fingers, not daring to look at who had spoken anymore now.

“Things could be worse, things could be better. Your physical health is top notch, so that’s at least something.” The words spoken had a french accent laced through them. Rose opened her eyes to be greeted by short pink hair, together with the upper half of a hippogriff tattoo that trailed around the woman’s neck.

“Welcome to the world of the waking, Miss Weasley.” The nurse gave the girl a smile, drawing attention to her pierced upper lip and the gorgeous green gemstone she wore in it. The overall physique of the woman beside her bed was extraordinarily beautiful. Another tattoo showed on her left forearm, and a delicate silver ring around her finger contrasted strongly with the blue skulls painted on her nails. A serpent hung from one of her earlobes, the other ear had an upper ear stud that matched the jewel in her lip. She was also very tall, with her six foot one she came close to the length of Rose’s father.

What drew the eye most, however, was her white skin. It seemed to be emitting some sort of glow.

“Breakfast in five minutes, young lady, and then we can have a proper chat about what happened yesterday.”

“Do we have to? I just wanna crawl in a hole and die.” Rose pouted.

“Yes, we have to. If not to figure out what triggered your panic attack, then to keep me from getting bored. It’s my first day at Hogwarts and you’re my only patient.” She handed Rose her uniform. There was no house-coloured tie yet, and her trunk lay under the hospital bed. All this trouble and still not sorted.

* * *

 

Getting dressed was a challenge, as it always was when she was nervous for the day to come. Gathering the courage to leave the bed already seemed impossible, and she only managed it because she didn't want the nurse to think any less of her. Oh, what she would give to turn back the clock and just be excited again.

Rose felt the weight she’d only come to know the day before pressing on her chest. It was very unpleasant, and it robbed her of the remnants of her already small appetite.

She took place in front of a small desk in the nurse’s office.

“Gabrielle Delacour, but Gabrielle will do just fine. We’re practically family anyway.” She extended her hand and Rose took it. She vaguely recalled Victorie mentioning her aunt once.

“Now. Rose, could you tell me what happened last night? And take your time, we are in no hurry.” She gave an encouraging smile.

It was hard to start talking, especially now that Rose knew the nurse was in fact the sister of her aunt, and she worried Gabrielle might tell Fleur or her parents about the conversation.

“I don’t really know what happened, really. I just… Panicked, I guess.” _Weak lie, Weasley. You're not brave, nor cunning, nor kind, just capable of reading._

“You can tell me, Rose. I won’t disclose anything that’s discussed here, not even to your parents.” Her smile let the sunlight catch in her emerald piercing. Rose was quiet for some time, lost in thought.

 _Her parents…_ They’d of course expected a long enthusiastic letter by now about how amazing Gryffindor tower was. Or maybe Harry had already send them a letter telling what happened. Or maybe he wrote a letter but her parents hadn’t read it yet, since her mom had another big court case to prepare and her dad was probably in over his head with another auror mission. She worried how they might react to her episode. If they would brush it aside, it would make Rose feel short of attention, as she often did with her brother demanding so much energy from her parents. If they’d make a big deal about it, Rose would feel like a burden on already overloaded shoulders. If they were disappointed, well… Rose wouldn’t be too happy about that either.

“Rose? Is it okay if I call you Rose or would you prefer miss Weasley? Would you find it easier telling me if I distance myself a bit?”

“No, no. Rose is fine. Better even.” Gabrielle had coaxed Rose out of hiding. “Don’t get me wrong, I love them so, so much. It’s just that my family is very…” _How can I say this without sounding like a narcissistic asshole…_

“I never really felt like I truly belonged, among them.” Her own honesty scared her. Normally she always had a perfectly constructed lie ready to go, but now for some reason she just told the truth. She’d never informed anyone about how left out she often felt.

“A bit too Gryffindor for you, maybe?”

“Yes, I think you can call it that.” Rose cast her eyes down at her breakfast. She hadn’t touched it yet.

“They’re so loud and obnoxious, often all over the place. My brother eats all the energy of my parents most of the time. My aunts and uncles come barging in unannounced twenty times a week, and it’s not that I don’t like the closeness of my family, it's just…“ Rose bit her lip, she knew it sounded selfish, but now that she’d started, it didn’t seem like she could stop.

“Sometimes I want to sit in a quiet corner and read, be left alone, and they never catch on to that. Meanwhile my parents don’t bother me most of the time, but in a way that makes me feel like I could disappear and no one would notice. I know I’m not a problematic kid like my brother. Ignore me and I’ll make my own dinner so to speak, but I could do with a hug now and again, or a word of appreciation. I taught myself french and I don’t even think my parents know.” Rose sighed. This started to sound more self-centered by the minute, despite her resolution not to. _What must Gabrielle think of me?_

“Et comment est-ce que ton frère retient toute l’attention, exactement ? Il est malade ?”

Non, il a juste beaucoup de problèmes pour se concentrer, et quand il n’a pas ce qu’il veut il pique des grosses crises de colère. Rien que la semaine dernière, il a arraché la moitié des pages de mon exemplaire de “Alice aux Pays des Merveilles”. Rose switched to french without skipping a beat, barely noticing the change. She was quiet after that, staring at her breakfast and overthinking what she’d just said. _She must take me for an idiot, wanting attention from my overworked parents while turning down the attention the rest of my family has to offer._

She let out a deep sigh. _Why is acting like a normal human being so hard for me?_

“Ton français est super. Tu devrait être fière de ça.” Gabrielle’s face had grown serious.

“Now tell me, what was the cause of your distress last night? How does this relate to what happened?”

Rose looked down at her knees. It all sounded so trivial now, not  big and dramatic enough to get as freaked out over as she had.

“I was scared I might be sorted into Slytherin.” Her voice just above a whisper. “My family would never accept me if I was, especially my dad. He says he spends every day chasing after Slytherin scum at work. He’s head of the Auror field department. Youngest one ever to hold that position. And my mum spends her days in court, trying to lock up the Slytherins my dad arrested. I’m certain it would crush both of them.”

“And thinking about that possibility made you panic?” Rose nodded. Gabrielle sighed.

“You must think I totally overreacted… It’s silly of me to worry so much. Sometimes these things can nag on me for days, I just don’t know how to stop. How to not overthink everything. And yet this Slytherin option hadn't fully hit me until I was on the train, which made me panic more because I'd had no time to get used to the idea. Before yesterday afternoon I was just excited.”

“From what I hear you had a legitimate reason to freak out, Rose. Parents and their opinion of you are very important at your age, and if you really think they wouldn't accept you...” Gabrielle gave Rose a reassuring squeeze in her hand, a motherly smile on her lips.

“I think that was enough reason to trigger your panic disorder. With your type of attacks they might be more extreme and occur more often here than in an environment with less magic.

 _Panic disorder? Do I have a panic disorder?_ Rose didn’t quite understand, Gabrielle made it sound like Rose was already supposed to know about this somehow. Like it was no big deal.

“You didn't know?” Gabrielle’s eyes widened in shock. “I thought you did, I’m so sorry. It's usually common knowledge among witches and wizard that kids born nine weeks early or more have a not fully developed fight or flight mechanism.” She looked into her file, to check if she had the dates right. She had.

“You must have been so scared last night.” Rose had been born only two months after the battle of Hogwarts, about eleven weeks to early. Hermione hadn't even noticed she was pregnant until a week before labour, thinking her period had been chased away by stress.

Still a bit in shock, Rose felt her stomach clench into a knot. Hearing you had a previously unknown medical condition was on no one's christmas wish list.

“Don't worry Rose. I'll explain everything to you after you've eaten a little. Classes are not a good idea for now I think, we'll wait until this has sunk in.” She met with the eyes of the dark skinned girl. “I am always here to look out for you, no matter how trivial you might think your questions are. No matter the hour or place. Once you know how to respond, attacks will be much less scary than last night. I promise.”

 

The rest of the day Rose got to know all about her condition. How to control her breathing, how to use emergency medication, how to feel attacks coming. All of this happened in small half hour sessions with long breaks, involving lots of tea. Gabrielle kept telling her she would be okay, and after a while Rose started to believe she might be.

Last night’s attack made so much more sense now, and knowing all the mechanisms and symptoms involved gave a lot of calmth. Rose felt much better now, certainly after her sorting.

She had tentatively placed the hat on her messy afro again, much less scared than last time.

_Ah, you again. All those begging students these days, refusing to get sorted with the snakes even when they would thrive there so much better than anywhere else. But I protect my students, Miss Weasley, Always remember that._

“Ravenclaw.” It had sounded a bit reluctant, but in Rose’s relief she didn’t notice. No more doom scenario’s now, no more passing out in front of three hundred and fifty students, no more overthinking her character traits. At least for now anyway.

“I told you it would be okay, now, didn’t I?” Gabrielle looked a bit too smug for a nurse, but just smug enough for a friend.

* * *

Rose was feeling a bit dizzy, but knew she couldn't put off talking to Harry much longer and if she didn't come up to him he'd join her at her house table, which would be much worse. Someone put a hand on her shoulder while she scraped up the courage to walk into the great hall. She hadn't been there since her episode.

“I'll distract them, follow me.” Whispered Gabrielle in her ear, and with her black boots resonating loudly on the stone floor of the hall, she walked over to the staff table.

“Dyke is tired.” With a dramatic sigh, Gabrielle let herself fall on the last free chair.  

“Uhm, excuse me?” The charms professor gave her a questioning look, all the while grinding his memory for a name. The woman looked familiar, but he couldn’t put a finger on it.

“This homosexual woman has a feeling of a lessened capacity for work and reduced efficiency of accomplishment, usually accompanied by a sense of weariness and fatigue. Don’t you?” Professor Malfoy cast his eyes downward to the pink-haired woman who was now lying down in his lap.

She nodded in agreement, seemingly unperturbed by the weird looks they got.

“Pass me some food, will you?” She gave Draco a pleading look, while holding up one of her hands in anticipation.

“I’m not your mother, Gabrielle. You are perfectly capable of eating on your own accord.”

Rose took the scene in with absolute bafflement, just like Harry seemed to be doing. Though his body language had earlier been calm, serious and maybe even a bit cold, professor Malfoy now had a slight smile on his lips and a rosy colour on his cheeks. The presence of Gabrielle had melted his Malfoy mask to leave behind a person that in no way resembled a “slimy git”, as Rose’s dad liked to call him.

With all eyes on those two, Rose quietly slipped behind the staff table, startling Harry a bit when she stood next to him.

“Hi.” Where Malfoy had dropped his mask, Rose put it on. Her face didn't show her nervousness. It wasn't displaying any other emotion either.

“So, you got sorted?” It was a stupid question since she was wearing a Ravenclaw tie, but Rose still answered. Harry inquired after her episode only briefly, himself being a bit awkward around things like this. He gave her a brief summary of her missed first defence class, and promised to have her and Victorie over for tea soon.

Normally Harry was a great person to talk to and Rose always enjoyed their conversations, but now he got more and more distracted by Malfoy and Gabrielle, who were now deeply engaged in a debate about hair dye.

If anything, Rose knew when she wasn't wanted somewhere, so she left for her house table after five minutes. Luckily Harry hadn't informed her parents yet.

 

“Rose!” Someone from the Slytherin table called her. “It is Rose right? Will you sit with us for dinner?” It was the girl with bright blue hair she’d bumped into during the train ride. That seemed light years away.

“No, uhm… sorry, but I already ate…” That was a lie, she still lived off her early lunch. However she didn't want to sit at the Slytherin table, even when the girl next to her was a Ravenclaw as well, judging by the colour of her tie. To join the snakes at their table after all the trouble she went through to not get sorted there would be riddikulus. And though she hated to admit it, some of the prejudice against the house had rubbed off on her.

“Already ate my arse, she just doesn't want to sit with us.” Muttered an asian girl seated next to the Ravenclaw.

“What makes you think that?” Asked Bucca. She was a muggleborn and not yet familiar with the different aspects of the wizarding world.

“She means Weasley just skipped her dinner so she wouldn't have to sit with us. Ever since the war, the rest of the wizarding community has been avoiding us like the plague.”

“When you're ruled by Gryffindors, nuance tends to be non existent. You're either pro or con, black or white, good or evil. She was probably born bigoted against us, with that gigantic Lion family of hers.” Ellen's eyes followed Rose again, until she was out of sight. She should be used to it by now, with her father owning a muggle pub to make a living since no wizard would enter a Slytherin business these days, but it still hurt. Why couldn't people see You Know Who’s values were no Slytherin values? Why didn't they see they were destroying lives, entire families even, with their prejudice?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation french lines:  
> “And how exactly does your brother get all the attention? Is he sick?”  
> “No, he just has a lot of trouble concentrating, and when he doesn’t get his way he’ll throw a tantrum. Only last week he ripped out half the pages of my copy of ‘Alice in wonderland’.”  
> “Your french is great. You should be proud of that.”  
> I'd really like some feedback from you guys because im not writing this story for me but for you. I dont think I'll update as often as i was planning to if i dont know if anyone likes it.   
> Also, I know Victorie and Rose are supposed to be in the same year as Teddy, but he went to Hogwarts a year early for reason later explained.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A week earlier than planned, but for some reason my professors haven't given me a lot of homework over the past week. They must be under the illusion I would spent that extra time studying for exams... Yeah, right.

Her roommate clearly had no interest in talking to her after her dinner refusal. Rose had spent almost an hour searching for the Ravenclaw tower since no one had told her where it was and she didn’t dare ask, afraid she might get laughed at. She had thanked the heavens when the eagle knocker asked “What you are, I once was. What I am, you will become. What am I?”

Easy.

Dead.

Now she lay on her bed, staring at the stars depicted on her dormitory ceiling. She’d been in that position for hours now. The stars were beautiful but far away, unreachable. They reflected perfectly how alone she felt. Her first letter home had omitted to mention her episode, because she thought it wasn’t necessary to worry her parents with something they might not need to know. Gabrielle had taught her calming exercises, now, hadn’t she? Rose had so far always been able to deal with her problems without any help and was sure this would be no different.

However, she wouldn’t have minded a little help with her roommate, no book had ever taught her how to make friends. The only people she’d hung out with so far were her cousins. They were nice kids, but very young. The oldest after her and Victorie were twin brothers Albus and James who would only join her at Hogwarts in two years.

Join? Not really of course. She was alone in her house, being sure none of her siblings would be in Ravenclaw. Alone with a roommate that didn’t want to talk to her. Just one roommate and she chased her away by refusing to sit with the snakes, because sitting there would mean losing her family.

_Why can’t things just be easy for once? Aren’t the lives of eleven year olds supposed to be simple?_

When the night neared its second hour, after ages of rubbing her knees, Rose finally fell asleep. The feeling of being truly and utterly alone threatened to do her in. It was so heavy, so awful, so all consuming. Not even a train going full speed could knock her out of her negative thought spiral. Though, when she thought about it, maybe it could.

A restless night filled with tossing, turning and bad dreams made her painfully aware of the time slowly passing by, of just how many years she still had to spent here, in this school that set students up against each other before they’d even been there a full week.

_Dead._

_It’s not just the answer to the knockers riddle, it’s what I desire to be._

* * *

 

The next morning her roommate had already left. Rose didn’t even know the girl’s name yet. Because she’d woken up quite late she had to skip breakfast to be on time for history of magic. Finding the classroom was hell again, for Rose had never been blessed with a great sense of direction and the moving stairs did not really help by changing their destination every time she put her foot down on the first step.

Out of breath and really afraid she smelled of sweat Rose reached the classroom. Everyone else was already seated, all the first years were in the same class due to their low number.

The only table left was at the front, next to the tiniest eleven year old boy Rose had ever seen. A Slytherin of course.

Victorie was deeply engrossed in conversation with Harry Miller, one of the many Harry’s that roamed the school halls now. She gave a quick smile and opened her mouth to say something when the teacher came floating in. No morning chat then.

Rose quickly sat down and got her quills and papers ready. To her surprise and unease, the asian girl from the night before suddenly came up to her, not paying any attention to professor Binns at all.

“I don’t like prejudice. I don’t like Weasley’s. I don’t like your parents. Still, I hate students who disturb the lesson by passing out.” She put a stack of sandwiches on her desk. “Eat, Weasley. You need it.” Without making any direct eye contact she walked off again.

Rose blinked. Hard. The food was still there. Rose had never been noticed before. It was an unexpected feeling, especially because she had been so rude to the girl and her friends the night before. But it was unexpected in a good way. Confusing but nice.

This act of kindness made it harder to keep saying Slytherin was an evil house, even more so since saying that meant not having any friends. It felt selfish to abandon her family beliefs in the first week already and try to befriend their enemy’s house. However, the prospect of sitting alone at the Ravenclaw table every day was quite unappealing too. It would be kind of depressing if her only friend was the school nurse.

Whatever happened, she did want to thank the Slytherin. She could never do that in person, especially with all her year mates watching, but she could try and come up with something else. Something that wasn’t face to face.

A couple of minutes later she got an idea. It might not be perfect, but it was a good way to repay the Slytherin girl for the food while at the same time solving her loneliness problem. For now anyway. If it worked. She hoped it would work.

After that, for the first time since he’d died, professor Binns had a student in his class who actually paid attention.

* * *

 

“Forget everything anyone has ever told you about potions. There will be no exploding cauldrons, students poisoning or ingredient waste on my watch, break one rule and you are out of here.” Professor Malfoy definitely knew how to make a dramatic entrance, striding into the hallway from behind an invisible door and somehow managing to make the tapping sound of his high heels frightening. “No one enters the potions lab with loose hair, unsanitary hands or bare legs and shoulders. No exceptions, no matter how hot it might be.” He turned around with a large amount of robe swirling.

“'No matter how hot it might be.' Well if his physique is anything to go by that potions lab must be an oven.” Whispered a muggleborn Hufflepuff next to Rose, who was waiting to enter the potions lab in a hallway lined with sinks and coat racks together with the other firsties. Objectively speaking it was true, professor Malfoy was, to put it bluntly, really attractive. His appearence was even more striking since his teaching robes clung to him like a second skin, and his green tie was definetly not made out of the usual fabric. Even an eleven year old could see that.

Katty Robbins, who had spoken, got a dirty look from Wendy Smith, a Gryffindor. “You do know he’s a death eater right? It’s bloody ridiculous he’s even allowed in front of a class. Disgusting muggleborn murderer.”

“Thank you for voicing your opinion on me, but I am afraid you’ll have to refrain from such things inside of my classroom, Miss Smith. Potion related content only.” Rose appeared to be the only one who noticed the flash of hurt that had reflected in professor Malfoy’s eyes just before he got his authoritative air back.

A chuckle rose from the other students and Wendy turned bright red. To her credit she did keep her chin up for the rest of the class, but that resulted in a failed potion because she didn’t ask for help when she accidentally put in too many beetle eyes. Thickheaded Gryffindors.

The potion they were making was really difficult however, so Wendy was not the only one who failed. Actually, only Rose, Ellen and Katty managed to not screw it up, and on Katty’s part that was just because she kept asking for assistance. The fact that their professor was an ex-death eater didn’t seem to bother her at all.

“How did you pull that off? I couldn’t even get my kelp into tiny pieces and you just…” Victorie, who was Rose’s potions partner, looked at her cauldron with awe. The potion was transparent lila, just like the recipe said it should be.

“I don’t know, I just followed the instructions. Do you have any bug wings left? I don’t want it to evaporate too quickly. The longer it covers a large surface area in the cauldron the sweeter it’ll taste. Beetle eyes have a nasty flavour, you don’t want that in your mouth water.”

“Ten points for Ravenclaw. I never even mentioned it was mouth water. What gave it away?” Professor Malfoy had come up to them from behind. He startled Rose a bit. “Uhm, well the mint leaves really. They don’t serve any purpose except for giving a nice smell. Better than mermaid scales anyway.” She hated being called out like this, what if her classmates knew she’d done little but study the past years? It had almost the same effect as screaming “I am Rose Weasley and I have no friends”.

“And five more points for that.” Professor Malfoy clapped his hands. “Alright class. I want all of you to write a twenty inch essay before tuesday on one of the ingredients you used in this potion. Preferably about something you didn’t add right. Next class will be held in the room opposite this one. For now, you are dismissed.”

“Ulgh, homework after the first class, yesterday we didn’t get anything and now we have two essays already! It's not even the end of our first week yet.” Victorie pouted, she was very good at pouting.

“I’ll help you if you want to, I…” _Don’t have anything else to do._ “I like spending time with you.” _What the hell Rose? You can’t even talk in a normal fashion to your cousin? Pathetic._

“You’d do that? Great! I agreed to meet Teddy by the lake during lunch but we can meet in the library at, let’s say, seven?” Rose nodded. “Great, thanks!” Victorie ran off, leaving Rose alone in the potions lab. She wanted to quickly vacate the room, but couldn’t.

Something had caught her eye.

A book.

_Why history repeats itself, a guide through the unknown parts of our past._

_By Narcissa Black._

It stood on the lowest shelf, next to some old potions textbooks. Flooded with curiosity, Rose wanted to do little else but pick it up. She wasn’t a stupid or impulsive person, and she knew how to sneak stuff out under the nose of adults. Sure, it was a little risky with the only other person in the room being professor Malfoy, but she’d had her practise.

She used to do little else but steal books in the past, determined to get to the bottom of her family history. Nothing was more awful than knowing bits and pieces of something, without being able to fit them all together, so she’d read almost all of the books her mom had told her not to. Or well, not exactly told, as Rose wasn’t even allowed in the study where they were kept. She wasn’t supposed to even know about their existence, but try being often left alone without any supervision and a forbidden room close by. No one would have left that opportunity unused.

While professor Malfoy was cleaning cauldrons on the other side of the room, Rose quickly grabbed the book, together with an old textbook lying next to it. This way, if she did get caught, she would at least not be forced to admit what book she’d stolen.

* * *

 

The leather bound book had not wandered to that shelf all on its own. Quite the opposite in fact.

Rose Weasley might be sneaky, but Draco Malfoy had stolen and kept secrets under the non-existing nose of The Dark Lord.

He knew how to get people where he wanted them, how to let them belief his ideas were their own.

_Oh, Rose. You have no idea what lies ahead. I would brace myself if I were you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not the best writer of cliffhangers, but I couldn't resist to at least give this one a shot. Please tell me what you think!  
> (otherwise i'll just end every chapter from now on on a clifhanger while no one actually likes them, which would be kinda stupid)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know its your mother and I. But do you think Ron knows that?

_Dear Rose,_

 

_Your mother and me were very surprised when you wrote us you got into Ravenclaw! We are very happy for you and I’m sure you'll be best friends with your roommate in no time, you're such a gentille kid._

_I still can't really believe my baby girl is attending Hogwarts already! Sorry sometimes your old man (well, i'm 29 so not that old) has to be sappy._

_With all your new nerd friends (just kidding) you probably won't have much time to write, but that's fine because things at the ministry are crazy right now, there are plans for a huge reorganisation and that involves way too much paperwork. Sorry the reply took so long, I hope Victorie isn't too disappointed she’s alone in Gryffindor now, but she'll have Harry to talk to. How is he settling in his new job by the way? Did he invite you over for tea yet? And how are Neville’s classes?_

_If you ever want to skip potions (don't tell your mother I wrote this) I won’t blame you and I’ll make sure you won’t get in trouble. I hadn’t heard it until two days back but Malfoy teaches potions! I can only imagine the horror of having him as a professor, like Snape wasn't bad enough yet._

_I have to end this letter now, you’re brother needs to be picked up. Your grandparents can't babysit him all the time now that grandpa has that problem with his lungs. Nothing to worry about, he just needs to take it easy._

_Hopefully me and your mother will see you upcoming Halloween when we plan to visit Harry. We’ll see._

_With love, dad_

 

It had taken her parents nearly a whole week to reply. Though Rose was happy they had, she was still not too thrilled about what she could read between the short, written-in-a-hurry lines;

The reply had taken so long because both of her parents worked too many hours, determined to rebuilt the entire wizarding world in record time. Harry had tried to do that as well, until he’d gotten a burn-out several years back. They also didn’t want her to write very often, because that would only increase their workload.

Her parents still didn’t have much contact with Fleur and Bill and therefore hadn’t heard how Victorie was doing. Things had been that way ever since they lost the custody battle over Teddy. Hermione had been convinced she could have won and blamed Fleur for secretly wanting to get rid of the boy. Harry had not been in good health both physically and mentally after Andromeda passed away, and him handing over Teddy’s foster parent case to Fleur instead of Rose’s parents had only put the matter more on knife's edge. It was also yet another reason why her parents resented Malfoy. They felt like he had stolen Harry’s godson.

How Harry felt about the matter Rose didn’t know, it was one of the few things concerning her family she was uncertain about. She guessed Harry had been sort of relieved. He already had his mental health struggles, his twins, Lily and a failing marriage to deal with, and Teddy was not the easiest kid in the world. Partially because of his ADHD but mostly because of his monthly transformations and his general attraction of trouble.

But since Teddy stayed with Malfoy his health and general mood had improved a great deal, so maybe the family fight had been worth it. And anything was better than three parties fighting over the same kid, while said kid was a traumatised six years old mess who'd just seen his surrogate mom die before his own eyes.

Other than that the letter let her know her grandfather was getting bad again, and Rose definitely needed to worry. It had been she who had found him on the kitchen tiles, clutching his chest and gasping for breath. She knew the next relapse could very well be his last and that Arthur was keeping that information from the rest of the family because he didn’t want to worry them.

All in all not the most fun letter to receive after a week filled with her first panic attack, sleepless nights and sitting alone at dinner.

And then there was her dad who had completely missed the mark with his remark about Rose’s social skills. She might be a gentile kid, but no one would know that if they never talked to her, and initiating a conversation (though ironically, also being alone) was one of her biggest fears.

For example, she still didn’t know or talk to her roommate. The girl spent nearly every meal at the Slytherin table, and always used the private study quarters of the tower to do her schoolwork. Rose hadn’t seen her at all in their dorm except for some brief glances in the morning while she was clearly not in the mood for bonding.

Rose did sometimes hang out with Victorie, but only while she was making schoolwork. They only ever talked about the assignments, never about personal things and the study sessions were often filled with awkward silences. The blond girl also didn’t study very often in general because she liked hanging out with her friends more than writing essays. Rose would have liked to work a bit less and hang out with friends more as well, she just didn't have any.

Except for Gabrielle, Rose didn't really talk to anyone. Not that just talking to the nurse wasn't good enough because it was. Gabrielle had the most amazing stories to tell and always asked the right questions. When Rose felt herself slip while she wasn't in class, she always went straight to the nurse and she always calmed down there. She would have liked to visit every day but didn’t, afraid she might be interrupting Gabrielle’s normal work too much.

There were still lots of other things to do however, so for now, two weeks into the school year, her loneliness was less of a problem.

There was still a big part of the Ravenclaw tower to explore, and though the stories of cozy fires and red lion banners everywhere had sounded nice, they were nothing compared to this. Every ceiling depicted the night sky, even during the day, and students could zoom in on star clusters and galaxies.

The Orion nebula was a Ravenclaw favorite to use for studying. It’s purple lights illuminated books, quills and notes in a much more gentle fashion then lamps or candles did.

There were also two entire floors in use to store all the works of fiction the Ravenclaws had collected over the years, most of it muggle. Their most prized possession was a first edition of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, but the student library did not lack comics or the occasional vampire novel.

The common room was lined with several doors, one leading to a debate stage were a new topic was discussed every wednesday and friday night, several lead to private studies for Ravenclaws who needed their peace and quiet and one lead to the stairs going to their dorms. Boys and girls did not have separate staircases and everyone walked in and out of dorms as they wished.

Often doors were left askew and parts of either neatly organized or extremely messy rooms could be seen. It was not rare to find students sleeping on couches or in beds they did not belong in, though privacy was respected if the inhabitants of said room didn’t want to be disturbed.

The shift in student demographic was clearly noticeable, bathrooms were full all the time, couples slept together in the same bed and the language students used was so full of swear words Hermione would’ve had ringing ears after just one minute.

It did make it easier for Rose to slip past her housemates unnoticed, because all of them towered over her. Being among a large number of people while getting ignored made the tower feel like a 24/7 family meeting, but in a much nicer way than the Weasley's actual family meetings usually were. At the very least it didn’t contain a mother who secretly-but-not-too-secretly blamed her daughter for her divorce and actually preferred her ex-husband.

Though Rose had to admit things were getting better now, and a fresh but fragile trust had come back to the Weasley’s over the past year. Except for the coldness between Hermione and Fleur everyone got along almost as they used to before You Know Who had returned.

It was one more reason for Rose to not hang out with any Slytherins. The last thing she wanted to do was shatter the peace.

 

It didn't take long before she found a nice quiet spot of her own. The corner behind a large supply closet had an alcove with a window overlooking the lake and the forbidden forest, and had enough space for lots of pillows and blankets. The biggest perk however, and the reason Rose spent most of her time there between classes was not the view or the coziness, but the messages scratched into the wall. They were of students who had felt just as lost as Rose did. It made her feel a bit less alone than sitting in her big empty dormitory, the abandoned second desk being a constant reminder of a missing friend.

Not that she wallowed in self pity in her little corner, self pity was a thing she despised in herself more than anything else because of the hardship her family had been through during the war. Nothing that could ever happened to her would be that bad.

 

If she wasn't making schoolwork she was reading. The book by Narcissa Black was fascinating, and shone a new light on at least one member of the Black-Malfoy family. Draco’s mother had poured a lifetime worth of translating, research and interviews into the book, and it now painted a picture of all the historic events that had often been overlooked in normal historical works. Rose had to do a lot of extra research to understand all the references, and because of that she could never get through more than a page a week. Nearly every paragraph required her to read another book about the history of magic and magical creatures.

Not that she minded an excuse to read of course, and the referenced literature was very interesting and often a lot more lively than professor Binns’ classes. Some of the books even dated back to before the ancient greeks and were for now impossible for Rose to read. Low quality translation spells could only do so much and she wasn't very skilled in them.

She had asked her charms teacher to show her how they worked, but professor Rickett already seemed to be out of his depth with simple levitation charms or getting the attention of the class at all, so extra questions about difficult enchantments were left unanswered every time she dared to ask.

* * *

 

Rose was careful not to fall behind in any of her classes and to never skip a study session with Victorie because of her new hobby, no matter how deeply she got engrossed in a book. Now that she was a Ravenclaw, she felt extra pressure to equal and outdo her mother’s grades. She didn't have a crazy lunatic trying to murder one of her friends, therefore only higher grades would be good enough.

She did struggle a bit with those expectations, mostly because paying attention was very difficult since she was often very tired. If she fell asleep before two in the morning she considered it early. Luckily coffee was not in short supply among Ravenclaws, so most of the time she did manage to stay awake and make notes.

Only during history of magic did Rose allow herself to be a little bit more careless because her new hobby provided her with more than enough material to ace her tests for years to come. The only reason she still made notes was because of her project for the Slytherin girl, who she'd recently discovered was named Helena.

She was planning to make a tiny booklet composed of more readable notes on the history of magic than professor Binns supplied, since she knew her dad had only passed his classes because of her mother's notes and Helena didn't make any notes at all.

There was one more class where she sometimes paid less attention; potions. She had learned the basics of the subject from her uncle Fred, who did little else but experiment with spells and potions for the jokes shop since he got paralyzed waist down in the battle of Hogwarts. It would be at least another year before they would start brewing potions for which Rose actually had to pay attention.

That was the reason she was at the moment trying to remember if she'd had breakfast that morning or if she'd forgotten again, instead of listening to professor Malfoy explaining how to analyze ingredients.

“You think these classes are useless for you, now, don't you?”

“They're not useless!” Rose’s head shot up, she'd almost fallen asleep but the sound of professor Malfoy's loud voice woke her up immediately. She was certain she'd get punished for not paying attention in class. Maybe her father could...

“They are useless to you, someone who corrected a third year level potion before I even mentioned it contained a mistake in the cauldron temperature.” Rose was surprised, he didn't sound angry at all, or even mildly agitated. _But then why is he talking to me? And why does he need to do that in front of the entire class?_

Most of her year mates were now looking at her, expressions varying from envy to downright disgust, though that last one was aimed at Malfoy and not at Rose.

Professor Malfoy spotted that the staring students were making Rose nervous.

“I’d like you to come to my desk after class, please.” He walked back to the supply closet in the corner of the room. “Alright, listen up everyone.”

After professor Malfoy had given them a fifteen inch essay on bezoars the lesson came to an end. Nerves had pooled in Rose's gut and her hands were shaking a little, despite his not-angry-sounding voice Malfoy could still be mad. There had to be a reason why her father always talked so low and disgusted of him. Unwillingly she approached his desk.

“Still don’t think these classes are useless?” Professor Malfoy was sitting behind his desk, looking a bit tired but still not mad.

“I learn from every lesson, sir. And explaining things to Victorie is very educational. I promise I'll pay attention from now on.” She looked down at her shoes, only now realising she wasn't wearing any socks.

“I didn't ask you to stay behind for that. I’m guessing you already know this theory. I called you here for a different reason. For extra classes.”

 _That means standing out, letting my classmates know I feel too good for them._ Not that Rose felt like she was too good for them, but it would be how they’d see her. If she was singled out like that she might never get friends.

“I get all my knowledge from books, sir.” She reciprocated quickly. “It's not that I have an actual feel for this. I don't need…” Malfoy interrupted her.

“Rose, even some of the best potion masters I've known got all of their knowledge from books. My own potions professor could do little but read and hope to stumble upon undiscovered talent somewhere between the lines. I saw from day one that that's not the case for you.” Rose made a sound of protest but Malfoy gave her no room to speak.

“I’m not pulling you out of class. I'm asking you to come to an extra potions lesson on saturday afternoon. No one will know outside of the select number of people I tutor there. You are not the only one who wants to fit in above all else.”

 _Above all else._ It proved to Rose again what she deep down knew to be true; She really was a snake. She'd rather respect authority than gain knowledge, sneaked around people's back, lied to her parents and the outside world to keep up the family honour. But that didn't mean she wouldn't take the extra hours, because now they might not have the result she feared they’d have.

She looked up. Professor Malfoy looked like he knew what he was doing and that gave her the final push to agree. “I'll be there sir, if that's the case.”

“Good. I’ll see you here next saturday at two.” She could be mistaken, but Rose was pretty sure Malfoy had gotten a small twinkle in his previously dull grey eyes.

* * *

 

From that day onward she spent three extra hours in the dungeons every weekend, brewing more difficult potions and learning about different ingrediënts and their traits. Every saturday at five she left the potions classroom with cramped up hands and a rainforest worth of notes.

Professor Malfoy held close supervision on his star students and often held long in-depth conversations about the finer art of potioneering with them.

At first it had made Rose nervous when he’d asked her all about the practice she’d had brewing with Fred, but she soon found out Malfoy really was just interested in his brewing skills, not the Weasley’s personal life.

There were no other first years in the class, and to her surprise and at first unease she found the other students, twelf including herself, were all Slytherins.

You had Antores the quidditch captain, Persephone who was head of the Slytherin poetry club, Marlene who played as beater and for some reason often called Draco 'dad’, and an assortment of other students who were less open about who they were and what they did, but still seemed to be quite nice people.

Maybe on a personal level Rose couldn’t befriend them, but with academic reason as an excuse she now at least had some people to talk to.

_Baby steps Rose, baby steps._

* * *

 

When september neared it's end and Rose just walked back to Ravenclaw tower after tea with Harry, she bumped into someone. Or rather, she got on purpose stopped by the girl who’d given her breakfast, now almost four weeks back.

“If you want to have friends, you have to act on it. Nothing in this world comes for free, not even to someone born as privileged as you.” She briefly locked eyes with Rose, her voice sounding way to knowledgeable for a first year, before walking away again.

“Wait!” Rose called after her. The girl turned around. _Crap, now I actually have to say something._

“Why do you help me?” She eventually blurted out, after a long, awkward silence. Rose’s hands were shaking a little.

“Because you look lost. I know what it’s like to be lost. You need to reach out your hand or at least take someone else’s when they offer it. And remember, the image that Slytherin is the house of evil is just not true, as I was trying to show you during your first history of magic class.” Rose felt herself blush. She still hadn’t executed her idea to thank Helena for the food yet. It had slipped from her mind since she’d plunged so deep into studying to forget she was alone. Now she might be alone because of that.

“I don’t know how to reach out. I can’t… “ Rose felt her blush intensify, spread, overtake her while it turned into a shiver, into shaking. Her skin was now covered in goosebumps and her knees felt week. _Breathe Rose, breathe. That’s what Gabrielle told you to do. Calm down, name three things you can pick up. Pillow, chair, hairpin. Three people you can hug. My mum, my dad…_ nothing _._

The name-three-things technique didn’t really work if you picked a category that didn’t have more than two things. She couldn’t even do that right.

“A third person you could hug.” Apparently she’d spoken her thoughts out loud. Helena walked back towards Rose. “Wild suggestion, but you can try me.” Helena held her arms out for Rose, then wrapped them around the girl who now looked lost more than ever.

“If you’re not taking the hand I offer, then I’ll force you to at least accept my hug.”

“I do.” Screw her families prejudice, she just couldn’t cope like this any longer. “I do take your hand and accept your hug.” She wrapped her arms around Helena, a single tear of relief running down her cheek. “I'm afraid the thickheadenness and prejudice of my family did rub off on me, while their courage did not.”

“I guessed it was something like that. But that's okay, you can learn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's a bit longer than usual and I believe also a bit dense, but I need a proper backbone for this story and I can't construct one by just using short-line conversations. If you think its becomming unreadable please let me know and I'll try and fix it, or at the very least make the next chapter a bit easier a read.  
> Also, should I try to add more photos to my work or are they not contrubuting anything? I'd love to hear what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took so long!

The next day Rose woke up to find a note on her face blocking out most of the morning sunlight. 

_ Breakfast time Rose. I’m outside the common room.  _

_ Helena _

“That was fast.” Helena sat a bit further down the hallway reading her transfiguration textbook.

“It was? I didn’t know how long that note had been on my face... I thought you’d left when I didn’t see you right away.“ 

Helena grinned and put and arm around her shoulders. “How did you get that note on my face by the way?”

“Magic.” Helena ruffled her hair. “Ravenclaws are quite alright I think. Less prejudiced and rude than the others.”

“They are? I haven’t talked to them much.” 

Helena laughed. She seemed to laugh a lot more than Rose had expected for a Slytherin, especially for a Slytherin who came off as quite shy at first. “You do realise that you are a Ravenclaw right? It was a compliment, for you.”

Rose looked puzzled. “Me? Why? The only thing I did was get dressed quickly.”

“Which equals making an effort and I appreciate that. My friendship is not something you have to earn with lots of blood, sweat, tears and effort.”

“It isn’t? You could have said that earlier, would have saved me a lot of trouble.” The blue haired girl rounded the corner and extended her hand to Rose. “Ellen. I’m supposed to be nice to you so... Though Helena, why would I do that if I don’t have to make an effort for your friendship?”

Her hand stayed extended to Rose, but now she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to shake it or not.

“Because you do need to make an effort Ellen. You turn into a right asshole if you don’t, pardon the language Rose.” She pushed a carpet aside and waited until Ellen and Rose had passed it. The passage behind it was completely dark once Helena let the carpet fell back.

“Fine then. Rose I am Ellen and I will be nice to you as long as you… Ouch! Helena that was my foot!”

“And that was also you not making an effort. Don’t give conditions with your friendship.”

“But she’s a Weasley!”

“And? You’re a Zabini, I’m a Parkinson, both of us are snakes, Rose accepted my friendship offer and she took Draco’s extra classes and he’s a Malfoy! You don’t have to tell her not to discriminate against Slytherins.”

“She’s a Ravenclaw, of course she won’t refuse extra classes! And she might not know about our parents. We’re addressed by our first name here for a reason.”

“I know about your parents.” Said Rose. It was less scary to talk to Ellen since she couldn’t read her expression in the dark. “Or at least I know they were quite prominent Slytherins, but I am not alike my parents myself so I won’t judge you for who they are.”

It was silent then as they descended several staircases. When they reached another tapestry close to the great hall Ellen turned around and offered Rose her hand for the second time. 

“That was kind of you to say. I’m Ellen, nice to meet you.” Rose took her hand.

“Rose, nice to meet you too.”

Rose felt her heartbeat pick up a bit as they entered the great hall and she halted in between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin table.

“Rose, are you coming?” Ellen beckoned her to come sit down.

“Yes. Yes I am.” And she followed her new friends to their table despite the weird looks she got from Victorie and several others.

Sitting with friends _ … _ She could get used to that.

* * *

 

Rose, Ellen and Helena were crouched down on the floor in front of the nurse’s office. One day into their new found friendship and Rose had passed out during defence class. She had been more embarrassed than usual when she felt the attack coming, she wanted to look strong in front of her new friends. That was why she hadn’t excused herself to go see Gabrielle, which hadn’t been a very smart idea.

Luckily it seemed that neither Helena nor Ellen judged her for it and when she woke up in the hospital wing she found the pair of them at her bedside.

“Hey Rose, want to know what the grown ups are yelling at eachother?” Ellen held out three extendable ears and nodded towards the nurse’s office. “I saw them in your bag when I was looking for your medication. Hope you don’t mind.”

Rose minded a little, but she didn’t say so. Instead she climbed out of her bed and followed Ellen and Helena.

“We need to contact her parents, she needs medication for this. How long has this been going on behind my back?” That was Harry, he sounded cross.

“It’s not going on behind your back, you have nothing to do with this! She specifically asked not to notify her parents or anyone else for that matter. This falls under the Mental Health act, without consent of the student I don’t tell anyone.” Draco made his words sound final, because they were. He was responsible for the guidance of students with mental health struggles like this.

“That rule is in place to protect students from possible abusive parents, Ron and Hermione are no such people.” Harry was clearly offended.

“Let me be the judge of that Potter. It’s my task to manage this, as it has been for the past six years.”

“Well, you’ve done a pretty shit job at it then! You haven’t even managed to talk to Rose about this yet!”

“Where am I supposed to find time for talking? I barely have time to sleep for more than four hours a night as it is!”

“You could have prescribed her better or more medication! Do you know how much she’ll be looked down upon if she doesn’t fulfil her family’s expectations?”

Rose felt a knot in her stomach, if even Harry admitted that… 

“You don’t need medication, you needs a friend who can calm you down when you feel anxious. I’m sorry that I didn’t spot it.” Whispered Ellen in Rose’s ear, the one that didn’t have the end of an extendable ear in it.

“Ellen this is not your fault.” Said Rose.

“Helena warned me this could happen and I just completely forgot to pay attention to it, of course it’s my fault, partially anyway.”

“Ssssht! I can’t hear what they’re saying!” Hissed Helena.

“Ist’n their fighting making you nervous again?”

“Oh I have so many sedatives in my bloodstream right now nothing could make me upset.”

“Your hair looks like a birds nest.”

“Don’t push it Ellen.”

“Sorry.”

“... Am already ruining my schedule!” 

“Then clear out your schedule, this is more important!” Harry was properly angry now, and Rose saw Helena flinch when he raised his voice even more.

“More important? I have two sons to take care of, one of them needs regular medical attention and the other shouldn’t have to live with a father as absent as my own. I don’t push anything forward on my schedule unless it’s a life or death matter.”

“Don’t be such a drama queen Malfoy.”

“Don’t act like such an incredible privileged prick Potter! Need I remind you that apart from my own kids I have several orphans under my care and need to run the entire therapy program this school has by myself?”

“Oh, come on there can’t be that many fucked up students here.”

“What did you just call my students? I am not ...” Someone pulled the extendable ears out of their hands.

“Rose! Back in bed, now!” Whispered Gabrielle. Rose and Ellen looked guilty but Helena was pissed that she’d been cut off from this spectacular fight. 

“Sorry we just…” Started Rose.

“Wanted to know what they were saying? I’ll give you the details when I have time, for now you need rest, and you two.” She looked at Helena and Ellen, only slightly cross. “Go make homework on her bedside or something. Be gone.” 

She recomposed herself as the trio hurried back to Rose’s hospital bed, then stepped into her office. The door closed behind her with a soft  _ thud _ . 

“I am sorry Rose, I should have noticed.”

“No, I should have just gone to Gabrielle straight away. I can’t expect you to spot it.” Rose climbed under the covers of her hospital bed.

“Good night bambi.”

“Shut up, it’s noon.” Ellen laughed, this Weasley kid was a lot more fun than originally anticipated. And she had a ton of useful joke stuff from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes in her bag.

“I told you the two of you would get along.” 

“Shut up Helena!” Ellen got a slight blush on her face.

“You really think I can do without heavy medication?” Rose pulled the covers up to her chin. With the frequency of her attacks she very much doubted that.

“Of course you can, if we help you. Heavy meds are no fun, you shouldn’t need to experience that first hand.”

”How do you know?” The medication Rose was currently on stopped her from realising that that was a very personal question, but Ellen didn’t mind. 

“Helena’s mom Pansy takes some heavy meds and my father used to as well. Not me though.”

“My mom doesn’t take them anymore either. She quit when she started dating Charlie, but Draco does.” Helena looked at the closed door of the nurse’s office. 

“I wish he didn’t.” Ellen often worried about her godfather. He was burning himself up at an alarming speed.

“We all wish he didn’t, but it’s not like he can just stop.” The door opened and Harry, Draco and Gabrielle came out. Draco looked tired and worn out but still very agitated, though it was nothing compared to the anger on Harry's face. That expression immediately melted  when he saw Rose though. He walked over to her bed but she hated seeing the worried look on his face so she quickly pretended to be asleep.

“Could you ask her to come to my office once she wakes up?” Harry directed his question at Gabrielle, and Helena needed to stamp on Ellen’s foot to make sure she didn’t interrupt him. Once he was gone Ellen rubbed her toes.

“Why do you keep stamping on my feet? I was only going to say we could tell her.”

“And that would only let professor Potter know who Rose’s friends are just before he writes an angry letter to her parents about how shit Slytherin’s head of house is. Rose didn’t want her parents to know about this, it doesn’t take a sneer to see she doesn’t want them to know about us either.”

Ellen huffed in annoyance but kept her mouth shut. Rose peeked through her eyelashes. “Is he gone?” 

Draco snorted and mumbled “yeah, it’s me who can’t take care of my kids, even though your cousin pretends to be asleep when you visit.”

“Harry’s alright, he's been through a lot and often gets very protective over family. I just didn’t want to see how much he worries about me that’s all.” Rose felt a bit of heat gather in her cheeks, she didn’t like the vulnerable position she was in at the moment, with four people looking down on her, and she felt bad for ignoring Harry.

“I’m sure he’s a fine guy to you, but not to me or my students. I think I’ll pay him a visit to prevent him from telling your parents about this, but keep in mind that you can have an attack during the holidays so you might want to tell them at some point.”

“I’ll talk to him.” Gabrielle had been unusually quiet so far but now she had found her tongue back. “You have other students to look after. Remember I have a psychology degree, you don’t have to do everything on your own anymore.”

“Thanks.” Draco gave Rose his best wishes and walked out of the hospital wing.

“Did he show professor Potter all four corners of your office?” Ellen asked as soon as Draco was out of earshot. She couldn’t fight the smirk off her face. 

It wasn’t every day that she saw a Gryffindor, and in this case even the saviour, get owned in a fight with a Slytherin. Because Draco had owned that fight, that much was clear to her after reading the expression on her godfather’s face. A subtle smugness under the layers of tiredness, agitation and professionalism. 

“Swiped the floor with his messy hair in my opinion, though my office has five corners.” Gabrielle ruffled her pink hair and straightened her uniform.

“Well, that’s me off to have the most awkward conversation ever.”

“Why awkward?” Asked Rose.

“Because your uncle saved my life when I was eight but he didn’t recognize me before. I can already imagine. Hi saviour of the wizarding world, I’m Gabrielle. You haven’t recognized me over the past month but I’m the tiny girl you saved in the tri-wizard tournament, also, I’m a butch lesbian now and part-time mother for the children of your nemesis, here to tell you that you are not allowed to disregard Draco’s rules about mental health safety.” And she made two finger gun gestures in Rose’s direction. 

“Good luck then.”

“Thanks Rose, I think I need it.” And she walked off. Rose turned around to face Helena.

“Who did you mean by Charlie?”

“Charlie? Oh, that’s my mom’s wife. Which kinda makes her my mom too but they’ve only been married for six months and together for eight, so… Kinda waiting that one out for a bit longer.”

“Married after three months?” Rose was stunned. Ellen and Helena were relieved. If the three months part was what their new friend noticed and not the wife part, then she was probably a lot more open minded than the biggest part of wizarding society. 

“Yes, three months. My mother would never admit it but she’s a hopeless romantic. They do fit well together though. They’re planning on attending the halloween ball next month so you can meet them there if you want to.”

“My dad is coming too, and he’s bringing Daphne as well, Daphne Greengrass. That’s Draco’s sister in law.”

“Professor Malfoy is married?” Rose had never seen a ring on his finger, but maybe that was because he took them off for safety reasons during class.

“He used to be.” Answered Helena. “She died of ovarian cancer a little over six years back. I’ve met her twice, she seemed nice enough. Draco was devastated by her death even though it was a forced marriage. They were really fond of each other, he used to joke around that he was married to his best friend.” Helena and Ellen exchanged a knowing, sad look.

“That’s rough, I’m sorry to hear that.” They were silent for a while then. Rose had never given much thought to a professor having a personal life, but she knew Harry had one so it only made sense for professor Malfoy to have one too. 

Ellen broke the silence “Are your parents going to the halloween ball?” 

The ball was meant to introduce muggle parents to the wizarding world, give them a tour of the school and show them where their kids stayed during the biggest part of the year. Rose’s mum had helped set it up after noticing how out of touch she was with her own parents because they knew nothing about her world. 

“I don’t know, my dad said he’d try and come but I haven’t heard anything from my mum yet. She helps organize it tough so I think she’ll at least show her face.”

“Are they divorced?” Asked Ellen, what earned her another painful toe and a death glare from Helena, who thought the question was way too personal for a one day friendship. 

“My parents? No, they're still together. And yours?”

“Well my mom died in a car crash when I was five and my dad didn't know I existed until then so… He isn't dating anyone else though, Daphne was just the only one of the old gang that wouldn't be at the ball otherwise, so he invited her.” Ellen laughed when she saw Rose's apologetic, shocked face. “I don't miss her or anything, don't worry. I have almost no memory of her and the tiny bit I do remember was her being drunk.”

“Oh, well… Still sorry to hear she passed away.” Rose studied her nails. She didn’t like the awkward silence that crept into the room after that and when no one else  tried to break it she decided to give it a shot herself. Though she could almost feel the sedative disappear from her bloodstream there was enough left of it to suppress her nerves.

“Why is your father coming? The ball is aimed at muggle parents, and it’s not that wizards aren’t welcome but…”

“But Slytherins are known for their pureblood prejudice and hate towards muggleborns and their parents? That’s how things used to be. We kinda got the message when the war ended and most of the snakes suddenly found themselves stripped off their family fortune, with no witch or wizard in their right mind willing to hire them. Suddenly we found ourselves in muggle shelters and re-housing programs, therapy paid for by the NHS, meals provided by free kitchens. Muggles took us in when wizarding Britain kicked us out. You cannot stay hostile towards people who sometimes literally picked you up from the gutter.” 

“Was it really that serious? Picked up from the gutter?” Helena nodded.

“Charlie is a muggle woman, Ellen’s dad runs a muggle pub, Daphne attends a muggle university. Though their generation does have the most serious backlash from the war they are definitely not the only ones who live more in the muggle than magical world now. It’s partially because everybody looks down on us in the wizarding world, but for a big part it’s because muggles are quite nice people. Especially since aeroplanes, mobile phones and the internet. No spell can supply you with an endless amount of sneezing panda video’s.” Ellen snorted.

“I think my dad would pass out if he heard a Slytherin talk like that.” Rose got a laughing fit when she imagined the look on her father’s face if he’d see The Git with a mobile phone on an aeroplane, looking at sneezing pandas.

“Well I think you might want to ask him not to come then, with the eye on his health. The costume theme this year is muggle fantasy, and I already know my dad and Daphne are attending as Jack Sparrow and Tia Dalma, the witch from pirates of the caribbean.”

“Oh I am so not telling my dad…” Whispered Rose with a look of bliss on her face. Rose could think of nothing better than the look on her father’s face when he saw the people he regularly cursed for being awful and racist, suddenly blend in perfectly with the other muggle parents. 

It might just change his view on Slytherins as a whole as well, which would make it a lot easier for Rose to be openly friends with Ellen and Helena.

In the distance a bell went off, indicating the end of their third class that day. Rose let her head fall back into her pillow with a frustrated sigh. Yet another class she was going to miss.

“Are you coming?” Ellen held out her hand expectantly. 

“I can’t, Gabrielle said…”

“I’ve known Gabrielle since forever. She’ll be fine with it, and you don’t want to miss your first flying class now do you? I heard you aunt is teaching.”

Rose shot up and grabbed Ellen’s hand. Ginny was her favorite aunt, but since the divorce she hadn’t seen her in ages. 

“I guess I feel a lot better now anyway.”

“That’s what I thought. Let’s go.”

* * *

 

“The first rule of flying ladies and gentleman, is staying on your broom.” When Rose, Ellen and Helena finally reached the quidditch pitch the lesson had already started. Hurriedly they took place next to the last three unclaimed broomstick, the ugliest of all.

“The second rule is to never let sports go before your personal life, no matter how much more fun flying seems to be compared to talking to your grandmother. For all you know she might be dead in a week.” Ginny walked over to Rose with a wide grin on her face. “Nice bridge don’t you think?”

“Utter perfection.” Rose managed to say just before she got buried in Ginny’s chest. 

“I have missed you and worried about you and I am demanding the rest of your afternoon for me and me alone I don’t care if you have other classes or not that’s not my problem fight me on it.” Rose mumbled something.

“Screw Harry and his appointment, he sees you every day.” Ginny reluctantly let go of Rose to give her some much needed air.

“Right, where were we. The third rule of flying.” 

 

Rose strongly suspected that most non-muggleborn students were too star struck by the presence of the Holyhead Harpies chaser to actually pay attention. A suspicion confirmed when they were allowed to try and fly a bit, and no one managed to stay in the air long except for Bucca.

Bucca was apparently the name of Rose’s roommate. Helena told Rose the girl had a lot of trouble at home, and that that was probably the reason she hadn’t talked to Rose yet.

“It’s really sad actually. The first day of school she got a letter from her parents, telling her they are filing for divorce. Something that wasn’t only unexpected but has also led to her receiving endless letters every day from both parents. It’s like they are trying to convince her that they are the best parent by showing her how much effort they’re willing to put into their writing. But I strongly suspect it has turned into rants about what an awful person the other is by now. I caught a glimpse of one the other day and man… That was not pretty.”

Rose, who had found it rather rude that the girl hadn’t even introduced herself, now looked at her with different eyes. She seemed rather miserable and didn’t even smile when Ginny told her she was an absolute natural.

“It must be terrible to be in a position like that. Is she an only child?”

“No, she has a handicapped sister, four years old. Probably won’t live past her sixth birthday. Something to do with her heart I thought.”

“Some people just get all the bad luck it seems.” Rose felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to find Gabrielle standing behind her.. 

“Why are you here?” Asked Ellen.

“I was going to be mad at you three for walking out on me without permission, but then I saw your teacher so I won’t.” Rose looked puzzled as Gabrielle walked over to Ginny who was helping a struggling Gryffindor.

“Why is she not mad at us?” 

Ellen tried to make her broom go higher than allowed to get a better view of the two women. “She’s smitten. Got a total lady boner for your aunt. Look.” She pointed but Rose didn’t look.

“A lady boner? What on earth even is that?” Before Ellen could answer Helena pulled her down and whacked her on the head with their flying manual.

“She means Gabrielle looks like she might have a slight crush on your aunt.” 

Rose looked at Ginny and Gabrielle. Ginny kept twirling her fingers in her auburn hair while Gabrielle played with one of her piercings. 

“Yeah, I could see that. It would be nice if they got together I think. Ginny has been a bit isolated from the family since the divorce.”

“And dating her brother’s sister in law will totally change that of course.” Ellen hopped off her broom.

“How do you know she’s my uncle’s sister in law?”

“Like I said, I know Gabrielle. She helped Draco when he was grieving Astoria’s death and is a bit of a mother figure for Teddy and Scorpius.” Ginny blew a whistle to indicate the end of class.

“Who’s Scorpius?” Asked Rose as she helped Ellen gather all the brooms.

“Draco’s kid, didn’t you know? He’s a bit shy but really cute. Nine years old, often to be found asleep somewhere in the Slytherin common room. Same looks as Draco but a totally different personality. Huge bookworm.” Ellen dumped the last brooms in the shed. 

“Try to poke around a bit while you talk to your aunt alter. See if she likes Gabrielle, maybe we can set them up.”

Rose watched as Ginny approached, talking animatedly with Gabrielle. 

“I don’t think I need to poke around.” Ginny stopped walking to take a closer look at Gabrielle’s lip ring. Gabrielle whispered something that made Ginny flush bright red.

“Yeah, maybe not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really I have no excuse for this taking so long other than being distracted with other writing. I am so sorry, I'll try to not do that anymore, but I do have school again on monday so I cannot promise anything, sorry


End file.
